Parenting can be difficult and hard. Not just raising children, but all aspects of parenting, including managing the many trials and tribulations.
It can be difficult for parents to manage their child’s development, and it can be tempting to worry about whether or not there are certain mistakes or actions you’re making that could hinder your child from reaching their full potential. However, it’s important not to focus on the negatives because there are so many different things you can do to help your kids develop in a constructive manner.
Some mistakes and behaviors can go against the grain and ruin your child’s development. These 12 Parenting Mistakes Can Ruin Your Child’s Growth.
1. Influence comes from the past
What happens in childhood has a tremendous impact on how we go on to become parents ourselves. It doesn’t mean we have to make the same mistakes as our parents. It is critically important that we learn from our mistakes and protect future generations from the same negative emotions. We now know that corporal punishment has only negative consequences. Many parents resort to corporal punishment today and attempt to justify their actions by pointing out that their parents did it. It is not acceptable to try and excuse ourselves by saying “My father did that, so I will do it too.” We need to break the cycle.
2. They miss out on the most important moments of their children’s life
It is not easy to manage all the commitments parents have. Children need their parents to be there.
Even though it might seem like an adult’s responsibility to an adult, some occasions are very important to a child. These moments are crucial for a child and they need someone to hold their hand.
It can be hard to find the time when you are a busy parent but you shouldn’t let that stop you from making memories with your children. You can make a point of visiting grandma, going to see a show, or decorating your home for the holidays. It’s important to maintain an active relationship with your kids because otherwise, you’ll always regret not having done it in the future.
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3. Reduce your child’s emotions
It is important for children to understand that it is healthy to talk about and express their emotions. Parents who tell their children things like “don’t feel so sad” or “don’t worry about it” are not only sending the message to their children that emotions don’t matter, but also teaching them that it’s better not to express themselves. For example, if your child is showing fearful expressions during a storm, you might say, “I know that you are scared right now.” Next ask them what would make them feel better. This will teach them how to cope with their emotions and help them overcome their fear.
4. Hypocrite
It is not a good idea to tell your child what is acceptable behavior and then have them do the exact same thing. The fact that your child might not be able to distinguish between drinking wine with dinner and consuming a large amount of tequila is very worrying. You should drink less alcohol if you don’t want your child to develop an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. You are setting a bad example by telling your child lying and theft is wrong and then not being truthful about not getting the correct change at the cash register or being charged for the item in your grocery cart. It is important to be honest with your child and show them how you live by the rules. If you are a leader, they will respect you more and be more likely to follow in your footsteps.
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5. Follow someone else’s advice about raising your children
Many people have the misconception that parenting is an instinctive process. However, it’s actually a learned skill.
The best way to learn and raise your children is by following someone else’s advice. In order to do this, you can turn to experts who have already been through this process and are willing to share their knowledge with you. You can find these experts in books or on the internet and social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
Always remember that the final say on how to raise your children is up to you. There’s no need to take advice from strangers who are not a part of your family. It’s best to treat your child with kindness and respect so that they grow up into a confident, happy, and well-adjusted person.
6. Not listening to your child
Parents often make the mistake of not listening to their children’s opinions. They would say things like “you are too young for decisions”, “adults know better”, or “an elderly person can see something whereas a child sitting on a tree cannot see it.” These types of words and attitudes from parents can have serious consequences for your child’s future. Children feel that their opinions are often ignored. However, this generation is more educated than you might think. Because of their intelligence, there are many people that children can offer advice to. This can lead to your child feeling insecure as a parent. How would you be able to know what you want in your life if someone was always making decisions for you?
7. There are no lies
If possible, it is important to avoid telling little white lies as children are often quick to spot the fibs that adults tell. They will often call you out on these falsehoods and it is not good to be found out. Be cautious about the words you say for yourself and for others and always strive for honesty. All of us know that kids lie. It is important to teach children that lying may seem easier than truth. However, it is better to be courageous and tell the truth.
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8. Be a good role model for your children.
Let them make the decisions. Your duty is to give your children a sense of right and wrong and inform them about the pros and cons of certain things. In order to learn how to make decisions, your child needs to be able to experience the consequences of their actions. With that in mind, it is essential that they are given a chance and the opportunity to work for something on their own. This will teach them about themselves, as well as give them a sense of accomplishment for future decisions that they may need to make.
9. Setting limits or having rules
While you may feel that you are doing your children a favor by allowing them to do what they like, most young children find it difficult to live without limits. Your child will be able to anticipate what’s coming by setting rules, setting limits and providing limited options.
Every parent has their own unique way of raising their children. Some parents work to purchase new toys for their kids, while others are strict and ensure that their children are goal-oriented and self-disciplined by teaching them things like personal finance.
10. Exceeding the expectation
A child must have expectations. Oversetting an expectation can lead to a child giving up on the task even before he starts it. He will be expected to do well in school, study well and live a disciplined life.
It would be unreasonable to expect that the child will score higher than 95%. Anything less would be rejected. This will lead to a child giving up, even if he/she is trying. He might not score well on his exams.
11. Give your child a sense that they are entitled
This is a difficult topic but it’s important to address. Many children are taught that they are entitled and they can’t handle the idea of no.
Some parents may not want to say no because they don’t want their child to feel bad or hurt. But it’s important for children to understand that life isn’t always going to go their way and that they need to be prepared for it.
Giving your child a sense of entitlement can come from many places, but the most common place is from being given too many privileges, such as being able to do what you want when you want or getting what you want when you ask for it.
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12. Give your child everything, but don’t force gratitude
Children learn to help others by working for their allowances or being part of the family. This helps them appreciate the importance of teamwork and community.
Children learn to be thankful for what they have when they are taught that the things they do not get or have are not the only things in life. This is a concept that should be encouraged from a young age so that children can continue to be thankful for what they receive into adulthood. Teach children to say “thank you” at all times and to keep a gratitude journal because this will ensure their happiness and well-being
Not every family is the same when it comes to raising children, and each family has a very different approach. Despite their differences, all families have at least one thing in common: they want to correct the mistakes of the past.
You should take the first year of your child’s life as a joyful time. You will likely regret not taking advantage of the opportunities ahead in the future. Take a deep look at what many parents regret to prevent making the same mistakes again.